EMDR vs IFS: How These Two Modalities Work Together for Deep Healing
Combing EMDR and IFS can often feel like finding that missing puzzle piece.
A lot of people come into therapy feeling confused about EMDR and IFS. They have heard these two approaches are powerful, especially for trauma and anxiety, but they don’t always understand how they are different or whether they have to choose between them.
Here is the truth you can exhale into. EMDR and IFS are not competitors. They were never meant to live on separate islands. When they are used together, they create a kind of inner healing that feels steady, safe, and surprisingly natural. This is especially true for anxious, self-critical adults who have been stuck in emotional patterns that do not shift with talk therapy alone.
Before looking at how they work together, it helps to understand what each one does in simple, human language.
What EMDR Is
EMDR helps your brain process the experiences and beliefs that got stuck and never fully moved through your system. Instead of talking in circles, EMDR lets your mind and body work together so the past stops pulling you backward.
Some helpful links about EMDR:
EMDR
When people begin EMDR, they often notice that emotional reactions feel less sharp and their body does not jump to old responses as quickly. They feel calmer, more grounded, and more present. It is not magic. It is the brain finally getting to do what it was designed to do when it is supported correctly.
What IFS Is
IFS, or Internal Family Systems, is a therapy that helps you understand your inner world. If you have ever felt like part of you is anxious, part of you criticizes everything you do, part of you shuts down, or part of you tries to keep everything under control, IFS gives you a way to understand those experiences instead of judging them.
IFS is not about making parts disappear. It is about helping them feel understood and less alone. When parts relax, your whole system feels calmer and more flexible. Many people notice that IFS naturally quiets their inner critic and makes overwhelming feelings easier to sit with.
How EMDR and IFS Work Together
The simplest way to understand their relationship is this.
IFS helps you build a relationship with your inner world.
EMDR helps your brain process the things those inner parts are holding.
When you combine them, healing feels deeper and more stable because you are working with both the emotional and neurological layers at the same time.
IFS builds safety for EMDR
Before any memory work begins, IFS helps you slow down, understand who inside feels afraid or protective, and create a sense of inner steadiness. When your system feels safe, EMDR becomes smoother and more regulated. Nothing feels rushed.
EMDR lowers the intensity inside your parts
Once your system is grounded, EMDR helps shift the beliefs, sensations, and memories that your parts have been carrying. The anxious part does not feel so panicked. The self-critical part does not feel as loud. The part that shuts down does not have to slam on the brakes. As EMDR reduces the emotional charge, your parts no longer have to live in survival mode.
IFS helps you integrate the changes
After EMDR sessions, IFS helps you understand what shifted, how your parts feel now, and what needs care moving forward. This helps the changes settle in rather than fade away. Clients often describe this phase as the moment things finally make sense.
Who Benefits Most From This Combined Approach
People who look fine on the outside but feel overwhelmed inside
Many adults who benefit from EMDR and IFS appear steady and capable in their day-to-day lives. They manage responsibilities, support others, and look composed on the surface. Inside, though, they experience a quieter story of overwhelm, tension, or emotional heaviness that does not match how they appear. This approach helps them understand and tend to the inner experiences that no one else sees.
People who shut down when emotions come up
Some people become quiet and internally frozen when something emotional appears. Their mind goes foggy, their body becomes still, or their emotions feel far away. This is a common and intelligent stress response. EMDR and IFS help these shutdown states unwind gently so they can stay connected without feeling flooded.
People who struggle with traditional talk therapy
Many adults understand themselves very well on a logical level but still feel stuck in the same emotional and physical patterns. They can talk about their past, name their triggers, and explain everything clearly, yet nothing shifts in the deeper layers. EMDR and IFS reach the places that talking alone cannot, which often creates relief that feels more embodied and stable.
People who have old wounds beneath the surface
Some individuals sense that younger versions of themselves are still carrying fear, shame, or pressure. These parts often show up in anxiety, emotional reactivity, or self-criticism. EMDR and IFS help these younger parts feel supported and understood so they no longer have to hold these burdens alone.
People who feel like they should be okay but are not
Life may look stable and successful on the outside, yet internally there may be tension, worry, or a feeling of not being settled. Many adults carry emotional pressure that does not match their current reality. This combined approach helps the inside and outside come into alignment so they can finally feel the ease they show the world.
People who want deeper, lasting change
Some clients feel that therapy has helped them understand why they struggle but has not changed the struggle itself. EMDR helps process the stuck material. IFS helps the internal world reorganize around that healing. Together, they support change that lasts.
How Long This Usually Takes
There is no single timeline, but many people move through a natural rhythm. In the beginning, IFS helps create safety, understanding, and emotional connection. When your system is ready, EMDR begins processing the key experiences or beliefs that shaped the patterns you struggle with today. Some people notice meaningful changes within six to ten EMDR sessions. Others move through the work more slowly so it stays grounded and steady.
As these shifts happen, IFS helps you integrate the changes and understand what feels different. This approach allows healing to unfold at the pace your nervous system trusts.
What EMDR and IFS Each Contribute to the Healing Process
EMDR helps your brain and body release the intensity of old experiences so you can respond to life with more clarity and less fear. Memories that once felt sharp or close begin to settle, and the past becomes something that happened rather than something that still lives inside you. As this processing unfolds, your emotional reactions soften and you have more room to breathe and choose how you want to respond.
IFS supports this work by helping you build a compassionate and curious relationship with the parts of you that have been carrying these experiences. As EMDR loosens the emotional charge, IFS helps you understand why your parts reacted the way they did and how they tried to protect you. This softer internal relationship reduces shame and makes emotional moments easier to navigate. Instead of collapsing, shutting down, or spiraling, you learn how to meet your inner world with steadiness and connection.
Together, EMDR clears what has been stuck and IFS helps you integrate that healing so the changes feel grounded, stable, and truly yours.
FAQ
Do I have to choose between EMDR and IFS
No. Many therapists integrate both because they naturally support each other.
What if I have never done therapy before
IFS is a gentle starting point. It builds safety and understanding so EMDR later feels contained and steady.
What if I am afraid of remembering things
Therapy never forces memories. Your system sets the pace. You stay in control.
Will this feel too intense
Good therapy should not flood or overwhelm you. Both EMDR and IFS focus on helping your system stay grounded throughout the process.
A sense of bodily calm and grounding can be found after finally getting the deeper healing you are longing for.
If You Are Ready for Deeper Healing
As EMDR and IFS begin to align, many people notice themselves becoming more grounded, more confident, and more connected to who they truly are. The past no longer drives the moment. Instead, you start responding from a calmer, more intentional place. It feels like your system finally softens and lets you move forward.
If this sounds like the kind of healing you have been wanting, I would love to support you. You are welcome to reach out and schedule a consultation when you are ready.
Learn more about me and my practice or schedule a free consultation HERE